Does it ever feel like you’re going through life on autopilot? Like the highs and lows of your day-to-day have been flattened out, leaving nothing but a numb feeling? This emotional numbness, fatigue, and disconnection are hard enough on their own, but for many men, this numbness has an added weight: the feeling of ‘not being yourself’.
Maybe you’ve noticed it in yourself, or perhaps people around you have pointed it out. Like you’re there, but not there. If any of this sounds familiar, there’s something you should know. You’re not alone, and there’s a way out.
Where Does Emotional Numbness Come From?
If it feels like joy, sadness, or even frustration are distant feelings, you’re probably wondering where this numb, disconnected sensation comes from. Emotional numbness can prevent itself at any time, even if your life is going well.
So why does this happen? There are a few potential reasons.
Emotional numbness is a protective response to stress and strain on the nervous system, often as a result of prolonged periods of intense emotion. This can happen for countless reasons, including:
- Chronic stress and anxiety
- Burnout from work or school
- Depression
- Grief or loss, such as after a death or the end of a relationship
- Trauma
- Relationship issues
- Physical health challenges like illness, injury, or poor sleep
- Side effects from certain medications
- Long-term substance use
In other words, your nervous system has been running so high, for so long, that it’s starting to become desensitized in order to protect you. And while this might keep you safe on a daily basis, that doesn’t mean you have to live life feeling numb.
How to Start Reconnecting
Emotional numbness can make even the simplest parts of life more difficult. It affects relationships, putting a strain on other people and yourself as you struggle to connect on a deeper level. It stops you from getting joy out of the things you love to do. It makes it harder to work, dream, and make a better life for yourself. Most importantly, it makes it hard to connect with the world around you.
The path to getting out of this state of numbness is different for everyone. For men, who already face challenges when working on their mental health, this can be especially challenging, leading to less-than-ideal coping strategies like overworking themselves, constant distractions, substance and alcohol use, excessive screentime, and avoiding vulnerability at all costs.
If you’re looking to start thawing your system and feeling your feelings again, here are a few gentle strategies to try and start reconnecting with the world around you:
Check Your Body
One of the best ways to fight feelings of dissociation and disconnection is to check in with your body. Just put a hand on your chest and breathe. Notice how it feels, paying attention to it for about 30 seconds as your hand rises and falls. Don’t try to change anything. Just pay attention for a few moments.
(Gently) Shock the System
Another simple way to snap out of these numb spells is to experience a sensation you can’t ignore. Pour yourself a hot cup of tea and hold onto the mug. Splash some cold water on your face. Step outside on a brisk day. Go for a swim. These moments help to reconnect your body and mind through your senses.
One Step a Day
Huge changes to your life can’t happen overnight, and that’s okay. Instead, focus on making one positive choice per day. Take a walk. Hit the gym. Hang out with a friend. Eat a solid meal. Just one mindful decision a day will add up over time, helping you reconnect with yourself first, and then the world around you.
Creature Comforts
Allow yourself a moment of something that feels good, easy, and true to you. A favourite show. A walk on the beach. An album you used to love. Low-stakes, low-effort joy, one drop at a time.
Share the Headline
It’s hard to share much of anything when you’re feeling numb, especially for men who struggle with vulnerability at the best of times. You don’t have to bare your soul right away. Instead, share the big picture with someone you love, like your partner or your best friend. Keep it simple and brief if that feels better—tell them you’re feeling numb. That you care about them. That you want to work on it. And that it’s hard right now. These small acts of openness can help to reconnect you to the relationships that matter.
How to Beat Numbness and Take Responsibility for Your Mind
Emotional numbness, fatigue, and disconnection are some of the most common struggles men face with their mental health. The strategies above won’t make the feeling disappear overnight, but they’re a foothold—a place to start the climb.
At The Shop, we help men on their journeys to reconnect with their lives, their loved ones, and most importantly, themselves. Through conversation, practical strategies, and supportive guidance, we work to help you thaw out your nervous system and start to feel again. We create a judgment-free space for you to open up as much as you need, all while putting tangible tools in your toolkit to help you get through the tough days and start having more good ones.
As men, we’ve been told our whole lives that asking for help is a sign of weakness. But in reality, it’s just a way to make sure you can stay strong. If you’re ready to stand up for yourself and take responsibility for your mind, your health, and your life, The Shop is in your corner. Book your first session today and learn how to start feeling like yourself again.
